Here is a thought for Father鈥檚 Day from a family counselling website: 鈥淐hildren with involved, loving fathers are significantly more likely to do well in school, have healthy self-esteem, exhibit empathy and pro-social behaviour, and avoid high-risk behaviours including drug use, truancy, and criminal activity.鈥�

I guess I鈥檓 just not clear on the use of the word 鈥渋nvolved.鈥� Historically, fathers are shadowy figures who live in the house, who have the final say on important things without ever having been involved in the issue at all.

Be honest now, how many of you actually ever went to your father and said, 鈥淗ey Dad, I鈥檓 having this relationship issue at school; can you turn off the TV so we can talk about it?鈥� Your Dad would have gone straight to the bathroom.

Fathers don鈥檛 like anything which is going to upset the status quo and they don鈥檛 want to get involved in anything new, controversial or romantic, and certainly not in anything that is going to involve someone ultimately crying. Unless the solution is that your father can yell at someone or threaten them in some way, they are not interested.

For example, last week there were two news stories about a mother duck trying to get her babies to a water source in downtown Vancouver. Did we see Father Duck in any of these stories? No, because getting the kids from one place to another is Mom鈥檚 problem. Dad already has his ducks in a row and he is busy doing those things that Dads do when they are not home. We don鈥檛 question that.

No doubt when Mrs. Duck caught up with him she told him they were on TV twice, on the six o鈥檆lock news. Dad probably stopped preening for five seconds and said, 鈥淥h really, and how much is that going to cost us?鈥�

For Fathers, it always comes down to money. Comedian Jeff Foxworthy says, 鈥淎ll men eventually become their fathers; the minute my wife told me I was going to be a father, I immediately turned the thermostat down.鈥�

Statistics show that Mother鈥檚 Day is the world鈥檚 most active day for long distance calls. Father鈥檚 Day, not so much. First, Dads don鈥檛 answer the phone and when you do get him on there and say 鈥淗appy Father鈥檚 Day.鈥� he will say,  鈥淥h thanks, did you want to talk to your Mom, she鈥檚 right here.鈥� He knows you will start asking questions about dinner or visits or tell him something about the grandkids he won鈥檛 remember long enough to relate to his wife, so it鈥檚 better to just not get involved and hand off the phone.

If we ever did decide to get up the courage to involve Dad in some situation, our first obstacle to approaching him after dinner was Mom saying, 鈥淪hhh, don鈥檛 wake your Father up.鈥� It鈥檚 actually very cool being a father, sort of like hibernation.

You can wake up in your recliner and find the place clean and quiet and feel like you鈥檝e slept all winter. Things have been looked after and they didn鈥檛 ask you for help.

Asking Dad to comment on relationship breakups is like asking Mom to choose the new brake pads for the car. We all have our family roles to play.

Leave a nice card beside his chair and let him sleep; just don鈥檛 involve him in anything. At least that鈥檚 what McGregor says.