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Jasmine鈥檚 story: Stigma can be the hardest hurdle for those overcoming addiction

Recovering B.C. woman says welcome, connection and community key for rebuilding after drug habit
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Jasmine and Gwen Donaldson are part of the CAT team working to reduce stigma for marginalized groups in Campbell River. Photo by Marc Kitteringham, Campbell River Mirror

Of all the hurdles people dealing with and recovering from addiction have to face, the most difficult is the stigma.

That鈥檚 what Jasmine, a harm reduction HIV and Hepatitis C outreach worker with AVI鈥檚 Campbell River office has discovered.

Jasmine, who did not want her last name used in this story, has a history of drug addiction and homelessness. Through her long difficult journey she found that the stigma and othering that people feel towards addicts is the most difficult thing to overcome.

In her experience, it is people who do the exact opposite and treat each other like human beings who make the real difference.

Jasmine started using drugs in high school, though at the time her use was more about partying and having a good time. Eventually, she ended up encountering heroin, which changed everything.

鈥淟ong story short, eventually me and heroin, our paths crossed and that was kind of like I found the one for me. It was the ultimate relief,鈥 she said. 鈥淚 was travelling a lot through the States and Canada鈥 Eventually, I (found I) can鈥檛 dabble in a drug like opiates at all because鈥 it kind of locked me in place in Vancouver. I couldn鈥檛 travel because I would end up getting sick.鈥

After a few years, Jasmine found herself living in a tent on one of the main streets of downtown Vancouver with winter fast approaching. At the time she lived with a partner, and her partner鈥檚 family ended up tracking the pair down and moving them out east.

鈥淭he state we were in at the time, I didn鈥檛 have any ID, I had a dog, we couldn鈥檛 just jump on a plane or jump on a bus. His mother flew to Vancouver and rented a van and drove us to New Brunswick,鈥 she explained. 鈥淭he woman was a trooper, because we used all the way across. I know it was so distressing for her, but we didn鈥檛 feel at the time that not doing that was an option.

鈥淲e ended up kicking it in a farm in Sussex, New Brunswick. It was wild.鈥

Jasmine and her partner recovered at the farm, but recovery from opiates is one of the most difficult things a person can do. Eventually, her partner鈥檚 mother brought them to the hospital.

鈥淭here was a doctor there鈥 when I walked in the room he sat down and said 鈥楯asmine it鈥檚 really nice to meet you. This is the best decision you鈥檝e made and I鈥檓 so looking forward to you becoming a part of my community,鈥 鈥 she said. 鈥淚 can鈥檛 tell you鈥 the emotions that that brought up, just having a doctor be kind and welcoming me to his community and like saying that he was looking forward to it.

鈥淎 click happened and this belief in my self kind of happened. I realized 鈥極K I can be a part of the community, even the doctor wants me here.鈥 We all know doctors are seen as some of the leaders of the community鈥 it has been 13 years and that is still something that brings up emotions in me to this day.鈥

Jasmine stayed in Sussex for two years after kicking her habit, learning how to be a person again. Her partner鈥檚 family had no judgments, and helped her learn certain social norms and rules. After a while she returned to B.C. and started building a life here again.

鈥淚t has been a long journey,鈥 she said. 鈥淭here鈥檚 a lot of emotional stuff you have to deal with. My belief is that stigma is by far the most damaging thing to people, especially while they鈥檙e living it, while they鈥檙e homeless, while they鈥檙e using and even after. Afterwards you have a hard time connecting with people, and that鈥檚 what you need.

鈥淵ou need the connection ultimately to really thrive, and its really difficult to connect with people because you know that there鈥檚 a stigma to that.鈥

After a few years of living in B.C., Jasmine got news that her partner with whom she had travelled to New Brunswick had died of an overdose. She became determined to be a part of the solution and started working with AVI, which works to break down barriers and stigma for people like Jasmine.

Through her work, Jasmine found a community that did not judge the life she used to live, and that built her confidence.

鈥淚 wouldn鈥檛 have told you this story three years ago,鈥 she said. 鈥淚 would have been absolutely terrified that you would have judged me, and now through these groups I found the empowerment of wanting to break through that wall of stigma more than being worried about being stigmatized.

鈥淚t鈥檚 incredibly empowering to not see the life that I lived as a shameful part of my life, but just a part of my life. And also to be told that having the knowledge of that lifestyle is valuable, that is something that allows me to bring better understanding to the work I do now.鈥

Since the pandemic started, Jasmine said her clients at AVI have reported feeling left behind. Things were closing, businesses were shutting down and services still have not come back to the place they were a year ago. While many people have been able to cope with the changes in some way, those most vulnerable members of the community were left out in the cold.

鈥淔or a lot of the people I鈥檝e worked with, part of what they were feeling is left behind,鈥 she said. 鈥淩each out to the people that you are connected to. Let them know that that鈥檚 how you feel and have a conversation.鈥

People who are living outside, living with addictions or are recovering from addictions are no less members of the community, and no less deserving of compassion.

鈥淐ompassion is so valuable. People don鈥檛 realize it. No matter what you say to somebody who is homeless or using drugs, it鈥檚 never going to be as bad as the way they feel about themselves. They鈥檙e being told little tidbits of that every day anyway,鈥 she added.

鈥淚 wish I鈥檇 known that being somebody who used drugs didn鈥檛 make me subhuman.鈥

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Marc Kitteringham

About the Author: Marc Kitteringham

I joined Black press in early 2020, writing about the environment, housing, local government and more.
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