- Words Toby Tannas Photography Lia Crowe
Jaime Morgan is someone who catches your eye in the bustle of a busy coffee shop. Her warm smile greets me as I approach. She exudes happiness, which is why I am beyond curious to hear about the new career that has her lit up from inside.
鈥淚鈥檓 the relationship coach who鈥檚 divorced,鈥� she says with a laugh.
That鈥檚 how the conversation begins! It鈥檚 a clue as to how Jaime operates as a relationship coach鈥攄irect and honest but with a keen sense of humour.
鈥淚 work with a lot of people who鈥檝e been through divorce,鈥� she says. 鈥淚鈥檝e been there, I understand it and I know what helped me through that journey of being able to rise into myself and trust and know very clearly what I want for my future.鈥�
Jaime is now happily married to partner Justin. Through the lens of social media their relationship looks fun, passionate and easy. It is all those things (most of the time), but, she shares, there is a lot of intentional work that goes on daily to maintain it.
鈥淚 really believe that, first of all, friendship is the foundation of all relationships. You have to foster that, you have to stay connected, you have to talk to each other, you have to like each other.鈥�
Jaime credits The Gottman Method (TGM) for transforming her relationship with herself and then eventually with the man she loves. Simply put, TGM provides tools to build and maintain a healthy relationship. It was so beneficial to Jaime that she became certified as a Gottman coach.
鈥淚t鈥檚 an opportunity for me to combine my personal experience, my passion for helping people and my psychology education.鈥�
TGM was developed from real people. Researchers studied the behaviors and actions of couples in successful relationships. Based on that, very specific guidelines were developed to show people how to shift their relationships.
鈥淚t doesn鈥檛 matter what鈥檚 happened in a relationship. If there are two people in it that want the relationship to work鈥t can work.鈥�
Jaime breaks it down for clients into the three C鈥檚: communication, conflict resolution and connection.
Starting with communication, Jaime teaches her clients that it鈥檚 about more than just talking. Listening, really hearing your partner and giving them a safe space to share how they feel are vital.
鈥淚f we were taught in school how to communicate in a really healthy way, just like we were taught math, I believe that every relationship in our lives would be different.鈥�
When it comes to those inevitable arguments, Jaime coaches her clients to put conflicts into one of two categories.
鈥淪ome conflicts are solvable, but most are perpetual conflicts,鈥� she explains. 鈥淭hese are rooted in the fundamental differences between you and your partner. They are the conflicts that keep coming up because you are two separate people.鈥�
Because perpetual conflicts are ongoing, relationships become about managing them. Coaching a couple on how to effectively navigate arguments is extremely satisfying to Jaime.
鈥淚 really do believe that conflict can bring you closer together if you have the tools to do it in a way that fosters connection.鈥�
Jaime鈥檚 coaching focuses on the here and now. Unlike other therapies, she doesn鈥檛 take a deep dive into the past.
鈥淲e look at where you are now and where you want to be in your future. We develop action steps to get you from A to B, whether it鈥檚 your own personal growth or a relationship.鈥�
Jaime acknowledges that doing the work is tough, but says there are huge rewards when you choose to invest in yourself and your relationship. It often means taking a long, hard look in the mirror.
鈥淗ow we show up in the relationship is what is going to transform it. We tend to think it鈥檚 all about what our partner does, but really, it鈥檚 how we show up. When we dial in to what we need to work on in ourselves, that鈥檚 when we will see the biggest shift.鈥�
Alongside working with couples, Jaime has many personal-growth clients who aren鈥檛 currently in relationships but are doing the work on themselves.
鈥淚鈥檓 working with a lot of women in particular, helping them establish a strong sense of self and confidence that creates the groundwork for attracting healthy relationships into their lives.鈥�
Jaime is herself a shining example of TGM success. As she guides others through personal and relationship growth, she and her husband, Justin, are doing the work too.
鈥淲hen you work on yourselves individually and then share that joy together, this can be a really exciting part of a relationship.鈥�
As we wrap up our coffee shop conversation, I decide I can鈥檛 leave without asking for some free advice. Here are three things Jaime says you can start doing today to improve communication, manage conflict and foster connection in your relationship.
The daily check-in: You only need to dedicate a few minutes to daily open dialogue about the relationship, so schedule it in. This isn鈥檛 the time to talk about kids and schedules鈥攖his is about communicating where you鈥檙e at today and listening to your partner do the same. This ritual can ward off major fights by not letting un-communicated issues build up.
Take a time out: When a discussion or situation is getting heated, give yourself and your partner the gift of a break. Make it clear that you will re-visit the issue later. Nothing good happens when you are in fight or flight mode.
Own your stuff: Be able to recognize when you鈥檙e in that blame zone and you鈥檙e pointing a finger at your partner. Use that as a cue to look inward to see what you can do to make the situation better.
Find out more about Jaime Morgan Relationship and Personal Growth Coaching on Instagram @thejaimemorgan and at
Story courtesy of , a Black Press Media publication
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