There鈥檚 something deeply terrifying about taking a first-aid course.

I took a recent one-day course. I am now trained, at the most basic possible level, to give first aid in the workplace, thanks to a St. John Ambulance instructor.

I came away from the course feeling two things.

First, I was pretty happy with myself. I did well! I passed, first of all, and I think I did a pretty good job getting down the basics of dealing with an accident scene, CPR, even attaching and using an automatic defibrillator. It turns out I鈥檓 surprisingly good at wrapping bandages and can even tie a reef knot in a pinch.

But my second thought was a low-grade building feeling of dread.

It鈥檚 not discussions of blood or burns or even amputated thumbs (although some of the illustrations were alarming, even if they were simplified infographics), I seem to have a pretty strong stomach when it comes to that sort of thing.

It was the responsibility.

I don鈥檛 exactly shirk responsibility. I鈥檝e held jobs for years, I鈥檝e been responsible for any number of household tasks and for taking care of other humans and even pets. I like to think I can be relied upon, for example, to drive people to the airport, to remember to lock doors, to keep a home clean, to always have enough money in the bank account to pay the mortgage.

Y鈥檏now, basic human adult responsibilities. Nothing out of the ordinary.

But first-aid training puts you in mind of other, more serious responsibilities.

Need me to put a dressing and bandage around a two-inch minor cut?

Sure, no problem!

Need me to do CPR?

Well, I鈥檓 now technically trained in that.

I鈥檇 prefer not to ever have to use that knowledge. I have no idea how my friends who are nurses deal with the fact that they鈥檙e responsible for others lives on a daily basis.

This is related, in a roundabout way, to why I never want to own a gun.

I鈥檓 not opposed at all to people who own guns for target shooting and hunting. There are plenty of gun owners who are very responsible 鈥� they use trigger locks and gun safes, they follow careful safety rules about always treating a gun as loaded, never pointing it at another person, and so on.

But that鈥檚 also a fair bit of responsibility. I鈥檓 not interested in hunting or target shooting, so I don鈥檛 have a gun.

Yet in the States, people not only own guns casually, some of them carry them everywhere they go. Usually with the idea that they could defend themselves, or others, in a violent crisis.

How they鈥檙e not crushed by the fear of that level of responsibility, I will never know. The number of ways things can go wrong is almost limitless.

While I was doing CPR practice, I was mostly thinking about properly positioning my hands and elbows, about maintaining the right rhythm, about counting to 30 before using the breath mask.

But I was also thinking about how I hope I never have to actually be responsible for another person鈥檚 life in a situation like this.

CPR is a great skill to have, but I hope I鈥檓 never in a position to have to use it.

So everyone out there 鈥� be safe. I don鈥檛 want to be the one responsible for your life, and neither do you.