I鈥檓 pretty sure that hanging, drawing, and quartering smokers who throw their cigarette butts out of their car windows would be excessive鈥� or鈥� well鈥� maybe鈥� uhmm鈥�
Ya鈥� I guess it would be a bit excessive.
After all, it鈥檚 not entirely their own fault. Smoking deprives their brains of necessary oxygen, causing retardation of important neural functions, which causes them to be stupid.
Consequently, smokers can sometimes exhibit a tendency towards doing stupid things, like鈥� well, for instance鈥� smoking.
Indeed, smoking while driving is legally stupid. It鈥檚 high on the list of deadly driver distractions 鈥� right up there with putting on make-up and eating cheeseburgers.
Police are hot after so-called e-distractions 鈥� hand-held cellphone calls and texting 鈥� which are so 91原创enally stupid that it鈥檚 pretty likely people who do that stuff while driving are either long-time smokers or were heavy smokers in a past life. Or they have some other impediment to normal brain activity.
The fines your friendly neighbourhood cop can dish out are steep. Since about a year ago, a first offence will cost you $368. That applies to performing any of the aforementioned activities while attempting to drive 鈥� make-up artistry, burger munching, personal oxygen depletion, as well as the various forms of e-stupidity 鈥� and a host of other creative ways that people have devised to put themselves and others at risk.
If you get nailed five times in one year, according to a helpful ICBC web page, it will cost you a total of $5,600.
Personally, as a driver who likes to get from one place to another without dying, I鈥檓 offended that ICBC finds it useful to mention the cost of not only five offences, but helpfully totals the costs incurred by an individual who might be distracted 10 times.
I鈥檓 not offended by ICBC, but by fools who are caught inflicting distractions on themselves and others so often that they have actually incurred thousands of dollars of fines and penalty point premiums, some over the course of a single week.
Of course, if they鈥檙e alive to pay the fines, then they鈥檝e beat the odds, right?
Go ahead, have another puff.
And that bed of pine needles under the tree in my front yard is the perfect place to toss your butt as you wait for that shiny new traffic light. It has all the oxygen your brain is missing.
