You have to wonder what they really mean by the 鈥渉igher鈥� in the Olympic motto, 鈥淔aster, higher, stronger.鈥�

It鈥檚 not so much a question of 鈥淲hat are they thinking?鈥� as much as, 鈥淲hat are they smoking?鈥�

That鈥檚 not to say that the athletes are smoking anything鈥� except maybe the snowboarders.

But the machinery behind the extravaganza is so out of whack with reality that their lungs have to be fuelled with something that has more kick than ordinary air.

And they spend billions (note the 鈥榖鈥�) to put on these overblown exhibitions of national breast-beating.

Don鈥檛 come at me with the guff about individual performance, or that it鈥檚 not about nationalism, and politics doesn鈥檛 have a place at the Olympics.

They don鈥檛 play the Individual Anthem for the athlete at the top of the podium. When a Canadian wins a gold medal, it鈥檚 pronounced a victory for Canada. When a Norwegian takes gold it鈥檚 a reflection of Norway鈥檚 amazing Olympic might in winter sports.

And this time out, the nationalistic politics has gotten downright petty. American Vice-president Mike Pence skips dinner with the host country鈥檚 president because he might have to sit near someone he doesn鈥檛 like. And then he refuses to stand for the host鈥檚 national anthem.

If our kids behaved like that in kindergarten, we鈥檇 make them sit in a corner.

South Korean President Moon Jae-In鈥檚 attempts to force some adult diplomacy 鈥� albeit feeble and misguided 鈥� between the rock and the hard place that threaten nuclear destruction on the world, and Pence sees it as an opportunity for further provocation.

What a jerk! What a Trumpster!

And what is this about Russians not being allowed to play at the same snow-fort with all the other kids from the nice-country neighbourhoods?

We know Canadian athletes come from Canada, Japanese athletes come from Japan, German athletes come from Germany鈥� but there are no Russian athletes at the games 鈥� only 鈥淥lympic Athletes from Russia.鈥� Gee, I do wish I could figure out their nationality. But I guess I鈥檒l never know! Darn.

And this is because Russia dopes its athletes鈥� the way no other country in the world ever did.

I believe that! Yes, I do!

But hey, I gotta run. A guy at the door wants to sell me shares in a fully operational Olympic Weed Farm. Sounds like a really good deal. Dude.